The End
by Deaths-Black-Rose
Summary: “So this is how it ends?” Deidara asks softly. “You're not even going to fight?” I smiled softly. “No. I've got nothing left to fight for.” A tear slipped from Deidara's eye. “What about me?” I laughed bitterly. “You left me, just like everybody


**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me! It's not mine, I swear! Don't sue!!**

**Warnings: Mentions of self-harm, suicide, character death, and adult language. Mentions of yaoi (boyxboy)**

**The End**

Sometimes I wish he would return. Sometimes I wish he wouldn't. He left me with nothing but memories of a happy life, and delusions of a happy future. He left no physical wound on me, but emotional scars. I loved him, but he didn't care about me at all. Even if he came after me, I'm sure I wouldn't fight it. No, I won't. What do I have left to live for? What good is left in my life that's worth living for anymore?

The villagers all hate me because of the demon in me. It's not even my fucking fault! It's my father's fault but no, they won't listen. The other nin's my age all think I'm some happy-go-lucky idiot. None of them care enough to look at what's under the mask. Sakura plain out hates me and blames me for Sasuke's leaving. I only had one thing going for me, and that was Deidara.

Deidara was my everything. He was my heart and my laughter. We'd been together for a long time; almost two years. It was strange how everything happened. Before he even knew I was the Jinchuuriki we met and talked. I didn't know he was Akatsuki either. We fell into a tentative friendship, neither of us wanting to trust the other, but we eventually fell in love. I don't know what happened to us after that.

There's a full moon tonight and the stars were bright and twinkling happily at me, almost mockingly. There was a slight breeze in the already chilly air, but I don't care. Not even at the fact I'm on a rooftop, which means it's even colder then the ground. I'm out here without my usual obnoxious orange jacket. I guess the bandages on my forearm will have to do for warmth.

There's a rustle somewhere. That wouldn't normally be odd but the breeze had stopped for a second, and it was louder then just the wind blowing through the leaves. I don't care. I don't give a damn if Deidara came out of one of those trees and killed me. It'd be a fitting end, at least in my eyes. In fact, I wish he would come and kill me. I don't want to be here anymore, but the stupid fox won't let me kill myself because that'll kill it.

The rustle grew louder, but this time it could have been because the breeze helped it. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, preparing myself to be attacked. Of course, this was mentally, because I was just sitting here waiting. I was not disappointed. A moment later, just as I opened my eyes, there was a flash of yellow and I felt a sharp pain in the back of my head. I let myself slip easily into unconsciousness.

I groaned as I woke. My head was pounding. I was in a prison cell or some sort; like a dungeon or something. My hands were chained to the wall. My arms were straight up over my head, the chain barely long enough to allow me to sit down. The door creaked open and in came a rather ironic person. In all his glory came my blonde eyed koi. Or at least, he used to be.

"Naruto... gomen nasai," Deidara whispered so softly it was only with my enhanced hearing did I catch it. "I didn't want this to happen."

I lifted my head up to meet his eyes with mine. He gasped. I knew what he saw. I saw the same thing whenever I looked into a mirror. There was so much pain, loneliness, and regret in my eyes. What was once a bright happy blue, was now a dull almost gray color. Of course he would be surprised. Anybody would.

"Don't apologize. It's too late now," I whispered, looking down.

"But I didn't mean for this to happen!" Deidara almost yelled. "This wasn't supposed to happen."

His voice was almost a whisper now. There were tears welling up in his eyes when I looked up. I quickly looked away as tears started to sting my eyes. After telling myself so many times that I hated him for what he did to me, I knew I didn't. I still loved him with all my heart no matter how much I denied it, and so I of course couldn't bare to see him cry.

"You know we're going to kill you right?" Deidara asked brokenly.

I nodded, looking back up at him. My eyes were filled with tears now too, but I wouldn't dare let them spill. Especially not in front of him. No, I wouldn't let him know how much I missed him, how much I still loved him.

"So this is how it ends?" Deidara asks softly. "You're not even going to fight?"

I smiled softly. "No. I've got nothing left to fight for."

A tear slipped from Deidara's eye. "What about me?"

I laughed bitterly. "You left me, just like everybody else that said they'd be there."

Deidara walked away the tear. "I'm so sorry Naru-koi. I'm so sorry," he whispered.

I didn't say anything. I just looked down again. The next day a few members came in. I didn't bother even looking up to see who they were. I knew none of them was Deidara though. There was no way Deidara would be able to face me, not after what happened last night. He'd have to though; he'd be one of the ones killing me.

After they dragged me to where they were extracting the Kyuubi, I finally looked up. Their they were. All the members of Akatsuki were up there, except Deidara was missing. I looked around, but I didn't see him anywhere. If he wasn't here it was going to take about a week or something like that to extract the demon, a week of hellish pain.

"Where's Deidara?" I asked, my voice cracking due to lack of use.

"Dead," came the cold voice of the leader, Pein.

My eyes widen. How could he be dead? He was in there just last night! He didn't...

"He killed himself sometime last night. We found his body in earlier this morning. He shoved a kunai through his heart," the leader continued. "But what does this concern you."

I didn't reply. I just shook my head in denial, my eyes wide. There was just no way he could be dead. A kunai through the heart? I guess it represents what I did to him last night. But he deserved it. After all, he shattered my heart when he left me. Akatsuki was just too important to him, more important then me.

Lost in thoughts, I didn't notice when they started the extraction. Pain rocketed through my body like lightening. I gave into the pain. I deserved it. I killed Deidara just as he was, in a sense, killing me. I denied loving him, but I knew I couldn't hide it from myself anymore. Before the pain became so intense I lost all rational thought, I whispered one last thing to the world.

"I love you Deidara-koi."

**A/N: Not the best I've ever written but I'm pretty proud of it. This was mostly just to vent emotions. You see, during the months I didn't update anything, I was in a rather bad, emotionally abusive relationship. He treated me like shit and cheated on me; for six and a half months. I'm with another guy now that makes me extremely happy but the hurt's still there. He's helping a lot though and I'm really greatful. But... I do get into those bouts of depression, and here's what comes from it.**

**I hope you liked it. Please R&R!! I will luffs you forevah!**


End file.
